So the past few years the holiday time has become more depressing than full of cheer. If it was not for Doug it would be down right suicidal. I knew moving away from home would mean less holiday get togethers with the family but it wasn't that big of a deal. See, even though we are southern, we are not close rarely get together. Christmas and Thanksgiving started being the only time we got together. Now that is even hard to do. My mom's side of the family really did not do anything this year and my dad's side are not getting together until this weekend. You know what my parents did today? Yard work. Yep. So even if I was home I would not have done anything today. Since we are not close the time spent together becomes kind or awkward. I know you are suppose to love family unconditionally but I really question some of my family's love for one another.
Christmas is not as bad because the families have a set schedule (Eve with Dad's side, Day with Mom's). But all we do is eat and hang out. Since I was in high school we stopped doing gifts and opted for the game. Plus we are a small family so there are not a lot of people to get for. And the ones I do have to buy for (parents & grandparents) are so hard to shop for I end up doing gift cards. I would love to be out shopping on Black Friday, getting all my loved ones cool gifts to wrap and put under the tree. I love giving gifts. It makes me happy. Last year we did not do any gifts except gift cards to the grandparents. Doug and I completely opted out of Christmas. We did not decorate and have no plans of doing so again this year. I don't even have any holiday parties to host or attend.
Doug's mom cooked everything this year so I did not have to cook. I literally did not cook anything. No goodies for work, no parties, no dinner. This is the first Thanksgiving in my life I did not have my grandmother's dressing. I am thankful we got to spend some time with Doug's family but since it's Black Friday Doug had to come home and sleep so he could work 10-3am. I am so tired because I can't sleep well when he is not home. And neither can Auburn. I think she is worse than me. It has broken my heart to see her sitting at the hallway whining every night he has left. Sunday he worked overnight and got off at 6am; Monday he worked the same; Tuesday he worked 4-9:30pm; Wednesday he worked 6-2:30am; Thursday 10-3am; Friday 10-5pm; Saturday 1-9:30pm. So yeah, I have not seen my husband this week.
I am so jealous of those large families that love spending time with each other. That get together all the time and every year the family gets bigger. Everyone brings food and presents at Christmas and it's more of a party than a family thing. Nothing is awkward, there is no family disputes that leave people not talking, or no exiled members not invited. I remember the good times when I was a kid. I remember the laughter, the joy, and the fun of the season. Now it's lonely and uneventful. I hear couples have kids to "make things better". Maybe the same idea could be applied in our family/holiday case? Yeah, hell has still not frozen over (making me want to have a kid) so not an option for us.
